An Open Letter to Support

From: Confused by Computers
To: Online customer service teams everywhere


To whom it may concern,

No, I don’t know how your app works or why you have to use different names for things that already had perfectly good names. I don’t know the version of IOS I am using. Who does? I’m merely a highly skilled professional trying to do my actual job that I get paid for.

And fine, I’m sorry about the screenshot in the Word doc, it’s how I learnt to do it in 1996 and nobody ever showed me another way. Well, except that one IT guy in the office who did some sort of keyboard-Twister ctrl-shift-tilda-swinton move that nobody could possibly remember. You’re lucky I didn’t send you a fax of a photo I took of the screen, like Kev tried.

But you seem like you know everything! I don’t see why you can’t just fix it. I don’t even understand what you need from me. Your form just says describe your problem” and my problem is your app isn’t working and I don’t know what to do about it.

So don’t get snippy with me, I’d like to see you figure out how to get Brenda to sign-off on the changes to the letterhead in enough time for the printing to get done. You’d have no hope.

How about you pull back on the as I mentioned in my previous email, and I’ll try to figure out what a browser extension is, and we can both get back to doing something more edifying.

Yours sincerely,

Confused but Generally Competent

May 7, 2020